What does it Mean?

"When you pull rope, the whole bush shake!"

Any guesses on what it means?

This is me in my Contemplative Mood

Let me preface this entry by stating that the other morning, very stupidly, I accidentally sat down on my laptop. It has caused me grief this past week as I cracked my screen when I did this, and now have black streaks across it. So it there are tons of spelling mistakes, etc...forgive me. Also it's 11;54, my power will go out in minutes, and I'm trying to scribble down my thoughts.

I think one of my greatest challenges this week has been the vast range of emotions I've been feeling. I've been contemplating already what next? The age old question for Melissa. I feel torn between not wanting to leave the people that I have grown to really love, but feeling like another year here may be too much. I feel really sensitive lately to the suffering around me. I came home yesterday after a long day, sweating, and just feeling tired. I was late from work, arrived home, started to make dinner, dropped off security guards at these friends house that was robbed, got back home and just hung my head on the table.

I was talking with two friends, who had equally challenging days emotionally and cross culturally, and I just felt this overwhelming feeling of, "Isn't this enough! Haven't people here suffered enough". It's not one thing in particular, it never is right, but it's the cumulative affect of watching situations and seeing people suffer.

Here is an example...You go to a work environment where you're goal is to help others. You are dealing with a staff member whose son was hit with a rock in the eye, and hasn't had vision in it for the past 5 days, and you're trying to help them with that situation. You travel home, but first you have to stop at the grocery store, and there are 10 amputees, and 5 blind people who have young children walking them around, outside your car banging on your window asking for something small. Only to come home and have your security guard slip you a note asking you for something to eat cause he hasn't been paid yet, and he hasn't eat yet today. Then you quickly start dinner before you have to go and drop security guards off at a friends house, cause the night before armed robbers came in and machete'd the husband in the face and he had to go for surgery...

Okay, so I'm combining what might have happened in a couple of days into one day. At the risk of sounding whiny or seeking sympathy, let me clarify that this is not why I'm writing this all down. I'm just processing it, contemplating it all and you're the lucky ones who get to share in that thought.

The question is, and I discussed this with a friend of mine today online, can you do service like this, strive to find balance, and healthy lifestyle, still remain compassionate, but not become emotionally void? These are my thoughts, and I have many more questions...

Update from this Side...

After two months, I'm back and ready to write. It's gotten pathetic lately as I just have totally forgotten about posting anything the past little while. It's been a great couple of weeks, and lots of exciting things have been happening.

First off, I was able to travel to Ghana with a friend of mine, Ethel, who traveled over for a visit. The holiday was exactly what I was needed, and it a came at the perfect time. People have kept asking me what I saw and what I did while I was in Ghana, and the reality is not much. Other than shopping, it was sleeping, eating, swimming, reading, and relaxing. OH yeah, and getting a brutal sunburn the first day.

The visit with Ethel was a lot of fun as I was able to show off some of the work that we've been doing here in Liberia and get a chance to enjoy having a good friend from Canada here to lighten up life. We got up country twice, and almost got stuck on the road on one of those trips, but it was a lot of fun. Thanks to everyone who sent letters, and gifts...

Most recently, in fact last night, we all got to take part in another historical event here in Liberia. The Samuel K. Doe stadium was the home to over 50, 000 refugees during the war, and last night after months of renovation, the stadium re-opened. I kept thinking the whole time that it must have been pretty emotional if anyone was there that made this place home during the war. It was truly a historical event, and even though Liberia lost 2-0 to Sierra Leone, it didn't really matter as it was more the significance of attending than worrying about the score.

The most "interesting" moment of the night was the storming of the gates. There were literally hundreds of people outside the gate, wanting to get in, but not having the money to attend. Suddenly during the second half there was a flood of people coming into the stadium and we began to wonder what happened. Turns out that people stormed the gates, broke through and rushed into the Stadium to watch. IT had happened once earlier in the night on a lesser scale, but it was the Boy Scouts and the UN, yes the Boy Scouts, who swatted people back with sticks to hold the line. Unfortunately, they were not as successful the second time.

Regardless, it was an enjoyable night as our group enjoyed a night out to watch a bit of football. Not only was it's historic significance memorable, but on a more selfish level, it was even more nice to have a night out watching live sports. It's going to be fantastic to have future games here, and I look forward to seeing more live games. It's again another big step towards indicating that things are returning to normalcy here in Monrovia.