Let's Sit by the Fire...

"Let's sit by the fire while we wait for the sun". This recent expression is going to do me well in my cross cultural setting. It's always a sticky situation when I'm visiting a community, or in a meeting with an official of some sort to find the proper response to a request. I'm often asked about what our organization can continue to do in a community. These requests can come from a community members, staff members, government officials, essentially anywhere. To say, "Let's wait and see", or to try and mumble out something that implies, "I heard what you said, but I can't do anything for you at this moment", always comes out awkward and ineffective.

So this past week, while I was visiting our sub-office in Foya, I learned this valuable expression from our Base Manager. He told me that he has used it many times and it has done him well. As I was sitting in a meeting with the district commissioner, after much back and forth banter, and many words of appreciation, the time for the request came. He politely said that he loves what our organization has done but hopes that we might find a way to put concrete bridges in place instead of wooden bridges. This comes just after we completed over 29 bridges in the area and more recently rehabilitated a bridge that connected a village to Foya town after 20 years of not having a vehicle being able to pass. (Roads and bridges are critical for people right now, because growing crops is one thing, but being able to bring them to market is another).

As I sat there patiently listening to the request, I figured that I should toss out the saying. I said, "You know what? I just learned this excellent expression the other day", and I proceeded to say, "You know, let's sit by the fire while we wait for the sun". Sure enough, this huge smile spread across the man's face and he let out a soft chuckle. I was able to transition quickly to another topic while he was still in his jovial mood.

Twin Mother

Picture this scene. You've just finished a wonderful holiday, but returned to work, and you have to deal with a number of instances of misuse of vehicles over the holiday. You've already dealt with one employee and they've actually responded positively, accepted the warning letter, and made an apology. So now, you're feeling like you've hit a groove and call in the next employee to discuss the matter with him.

Suddenly it all turns wrong. As you explain to the employee that you will have to issue him a warning letter and add it to his file he starts to grow increasingly frustrated with the situation. You now have to listen patiently to all of his excuses as to why he feels justified in taking the motorcycle. "No credit on my phone," he says. "Been waiting for a taxi for hours", he claims. They are all possibly good reasons in his mind, but none excuse the fact that he took the motorbike.

After 20 minutes of discussion, it comes down to you finally saying, "You know, you're putting me in a difficult position, because if I excuse you from this then I have to excuse everyone else who has in their mind a good reason for using property without permission".

Suddenly, your 40 something year old Security officer breaks into a Liberian illustration, "You know Melissa, I understand. You are like a twin mother to us here. You cannot lie on your left. You cannot lie on your right, but you have to lie on your back". He begins to act out the analogy in the seat across from yours.

At this point, your left wondering, "Where is this man going to go with this story?" You continue to patiently listen.

It gets weirder as he now is cupping himself as if he has breasts and says, "You have to try to feed both babies at the same time". Yes, he is cupping himself!

You're left there, staring at this man, trying not to register any facial expression that reveals your complete confusion and utter disbelief as to what is happening right before your eyes. You're only solution is to quickly wrap it up and you end the discussion slightly more confused and definitely more violated than when you began.

If anyone gets the illustration, please let me know...I'm still confused.