Beauty of the Beach

Failing Miserable at Stillness

After the last entry, a slightly humourous look at my life in Liberia, and what is just not normal about it, I've decided to go in a slightly different, more contemplative direction for this entry. My greatest struggle lately has been finding meaning in my work. I am plenty busy doing activities, but what has it all meant? I run around getting things done, working 6 days a week, and going in early to work and coming back a bit later. Given the circumstances, 19 visitors coming in the next week, and this marking our 60th visitors of the year, the situation demands busyness. But if I say that this time is just an exception, then I'm being a fool, because the reality is that I struggle constantly with finding a balance between work and between life outside of work. I struggle with finding the balance between busyness and stillness.

You might be shaking your head and asking yourself what I'm talking about, because from the outside it would seem that my job would be filled with meaning. The danger in my job is simply that...to assume that because I am in a job that gives to others that it must be meaningful, and therefore I have meaning. I love being busy and I love accomplishing things...Why? Because to be honest that is most times where I find my identity. I like being the person that people turn to to get things done, but lately it's struck me that I've lost my focus in the attempt to get the tasks done that need doing.

I've been reading a book, "Running on Empty: Contemplative Spirituality for Overachievers", by Fil Anderson. He speaks about this very issue of being busy for God, but not really spending the time to know God. This is where I am guilty. I am being challenged as I read his book to value solitude and prayer. I know that if I can reconnect to those values, I will reconnect with the meaning of why I do what I do.

Ours Lives are Just Not Normal

We, being my friend Amy and I, often joke around and when our lives get too crazy or unexplainable, one of us looks at the other and says, "Our lives are just not normal!". And it's true in so many ways. Perhaps trying to pen these oddities may come out sounding extremely strange to even you as a reader. Let me try to share a few of these with you and perhaps you too will find yourself saying, "Her life is just not normal!".

The first example I can think of is describing my experiences in attending a graduation program for our female ex-combatant home. This program culminates with celebration and recognition of the girls who have successfully come through 9 months of basic literacy and vocational training. Seems like something "normal" right? A program that was to begin at 11 am, finally started at 1 pm. After watching two gentleman wire and re-wire just to get the electric piano to work that would have only been used for one or two songs, and having watched smoke come out of the power converter, they decided to go ahead with the program. The first hour of the program though, these persistent gentleman did not give up, but rather kept working right through the ceremony and even talked out loud about their generator problems right in the middle of the stage. Normal?

Or how does finding yourself in a situation where upon departure from the graduation the staff are trying to get a recently purchased monkey to stay in the back of the vehicle, so that they can bring it home as a pet. They keep chucking it in the back of the vehicle but the monkey keeps jumping back out of the vehicle and so they eventually tie it to the roof. All the way home of this three hour journey, you have to stop along the way to purchase this monkey bananas and ensure that it is okay. All this while, staff are getting sick and puking out the side of the window as you drive along. Normal???

Today, our Program Managers were all driving to a conference room to have a meeting at a local hotel. I couldn't pass by on the road, why? Because someone has decided to park their vehicle in the middle of the puddle and proceed to wash their vehicle right then and there. Normal???

Yesterday, I went to staple a document, and all the sudden a baby gecko jumps out from inside the stapler, onto my shirt, at which point I think it's a cockroach and try as best as possible to not swear as I swipe and the thing goes flying against the wall. Normal???

Last night, as with many nights this week, I decided to go to sleep early. I must have fallen asleep by 9:30. All the sudden, I'm awoken to sparks flying out from the outlet right beside my head, as I hear my computer power cord sizzling and a faint odour of something burning. The lightning struck our compound, came through our house, surged and blew light bulbs and of course my power cord. Power stayed out till 3 pm this afternoon, and of course this morning no generator, meant no running water. Normal??

I could probably go on and on...but I must stop. Why? because the generator is once going to shut off and I'll lose my document...Let me just say it one more time..."MY LIFE IS JUST NOT NORMAL!!!"

And Then There Were Three!!!

I was so excited to find out early Friday morning that my sister Ashley had given birth to her third child, a little boy, and that they were both doing well and healthy. Congratulations Jon, Ashley, Rebecca and Jacob! I was able to call my sister in the hospital and talk with her on Friday, which was so great. It's moments like this that living overseas becomes difficult. The separation from family during these important moments is really tough. That being said, I'm glad there is technology available that we can stay in touch and I thought I would post a picture of the new family of kids all together.

I love you guys lots...