Mel's Site

Finding Rest

2008-06-27T15:22:00.002-07:00

Today is an incredibly beautiful sunny Vancouver day, and I'm so grateful. Like many other Canadians, we have not had a fantastic start to the summer, but this weekend has a lot of promise. To celebrate the good weather, I headed out to a local park with books and journal in hand.

As I sat down to take a read through my journal and reflect back on these last few months I began to notice this recurrent theme that takes place in my life. My inability to "rest" is something that I have continually struggled with in my adult life. Don't get my wrong, I'm not one of those people who is buzzing 24 hours a day, fidgeting, nervous energy emitting from all pours, but I am someone who struggles to find true rest in both mind and spirit. If I'm not being physically active, or working myself extremely hard, than I'm boggled down with thoughts of what I could be doing or what I should be doing with my time. (Those of you like me know what I'm talking about, and are shaking your head in agreement at this moment).

This issue is something that I decided to address when coming home from Liberia. I knew it wouldn't be easy, because like I mentioned, it's not something natural for me. But I knew that I needed to focus on it, not only because every person that has been overseas kept telling me to make sure I rested, but the concept of finding rest was something that resonated deep within me. My first few weeks, I was so physically exhausted that I didn't even fight the battle. It was after that initial jet lag that I found those old familiar feelings and thoughts come back to mind. Thoughts like, "What are you going to do today?", "You shouldn't be just sitting, you should get up and be doing something!", or "Did you just really not accomplish anything all day??"

So I struggled with it, I battled it, I kept telling myself to be okay with just being. It made me irritable at first, and I felt very purposeless. I felt like if I hadn't contributed to something that day than my day was a waste and in many ways this concept of needing to contribute was tied to my self worth. Today, two and a half months later, I'm still struggling. It's not easy, I haven't perfected it, but I'm committed to continuing to find ways to just "be". And it doesn't even stop at learning to rest, but also at taking joy in doing the things that we often wish we could do as humans, but never allow ourselves the time or pleasure to do. (It could be as simple as reading the book in the park on a sunny Vancouver afternoon.)

Recently I read Psalm 116:7, which says,
Return to your rest, my soul, for the Lord has been good to you.

As we continue to be people who live in the now not worrying about what to accomplish next, I think this verse has a lot to teach us. If you struggle with this issue of just living in the moment, of just being, maybe this verse will be of some comfort or even encouragement to you today.

New Thoughts

2008-06-19T10:18:00.002-07:00

So, I'm sure many of you have thought that I have dropped off the face of the earth. Well, I haven't, but I have definintely hit hibernation mode, with few excursions here and there. I was encouraged by people to keep writing even though my time in Liberia had officially come to an end, but the trouble with writing when I first returned was where to find my inspiration? Honestly, if you knew my day, which usually consists of a late wake up, cups of coffee, a trip to the gym, and maybe a few hours of tv and more eating in a day...you would understand the lack of intelligent or meaningful thoughts going through my mind.

But recently, I have been feeling more like putting my thoughts down. Where will it lead? Who knows, but I feel like it's time to write again. For those of you looking for some profound thoughts on reintegration, you should probably look up those authors who have studied these things for years and written extremely valuable resources. Mine will be more personal, and will simply be little "snippets" of my experiences. They will be the moments in my day which catch me off guard, and make me think to myself, "why am I rethinking this experience?"

Most recently one of these experiences happened to me at a 7-11 store. I had this very simple experience where I was counting out 5 cent candies into my bag, and I started, "5, 10, 15, 20...", and I hit 50 cents and suddently this overwhelming feeling and thought came into my mind, that if I keep going for 11 more pieces of candy I would surpass the average daily income of a Liberian. Something just sunk in my heart, that here I was counting out my candy that I had a craving for and I would be spending more on my sugar high than the average person in Liberia had to survive.

You would think it would be the big things that would make me stop and feel a deep conviction. The funny or even ironic thing is that I drove to the 7-11 in my recently bought a car, and didn't even think about that purchase. As with many of you, I'm constantly bombarded by the price of housing, increasing fuel costs, and increasing food costs, but it was the simple thing...the 5 cent candies that made me stop and think. As painful as these moments are, I want them to continue, and I don't want to become insensitive to them. I want to be stopped in my tracks and made to think about other things beyond the struggles of what I experience financially in my home culture, and most of all, I don't want to forget those who so deeply impacted me overseas.

Living it Rainy River Style

2008-04-24T10:41:00.002-07:00

It's great to come home, particularly if your home town consists of 800 people. It's the exact pace that one needs to be able to adjust from their overseas home back into Canada. There is something so soothing about just coming home. Of course, I'm being spoiled by my mom and dad as they take care of me and help me catch up on rest. I've been hit by a "fresh cold" as they say in Liberia...so I'm hopped up on cold and flu meds.

Anyways, the trip home was nothing to memorable other than really being longer than I ever wanted. I am starting to detest airports and really find no joy in being in transit. I was able to overnight in Ghana, and catch up with old friends. We had a fun night out and I enjoyed that part the most about my journey home. Otherwise it was traveling through till I eventually reached Winnipeg about 55 hours later.

Being home has it's benefits. I've been trying to adjust to the cold mostly and just keeping warm while catching up with friends and family. It's adjusting to the conveniences of life as well, such as 24 hour power, running hot water, the speed of which things happen. I have no profound thoughts as of yet, and haven't really processed everything. I'll post though as revelations come.

I do have this one simple observation though about Canada. We have gadgets for everything! I have watched ads for meat seering tools that put your initials in your steak, or a little tool that cuts away tough plastic from other tools that we have bought. We are a funny culture.

Anyways, I'm sure I"ll have more of these funny observations to post. Bear with me as I experience reverse culture shock!

Saying My Goodbyes!

2008-04-10T06:58:00.002-07:00

Well, the time has come to say my goodbyes to friends that I have met here in Liberia. For those of you who have transitioned from one culture to another, I'm sure you know the mixture of emotions that I've been working through these past few weeks. Today was my last day with staff, and it is tradition in our office to give a Liberian flag to departing guests and then sing a song, "My hands are Blessed", and give hugs. So many times, I have been part of the departure process, but to be the recipient this time was strange.

I knew I would never make it out of the situation without tears, and my only goal was not to get to that embarrassing stage where there are tears flying, mixed with sobs and the inability to communicate. Thank goodness, I stayed above that line, just barely, but I managed to get through it. It was extremely touching to look around the room and see faces of people who I have grown to love over these past two years.

For those of you who have been sending emails, skype messages and msn messages reassuring me that you are praying for me...this has been so helpful. Thank you for thinking of me during this time and for keeping me in your prayers.

To my Liberia Family...not much to say other than thank you for a wonderful two years!

Malawo Mountain

2008-03-08T05:23:00.005-08:00

Okay...so it wasn't exactly a mountain, at least in the Canadian sense of the term, but it did provide a good sweaty workout to reach the top and reach our destination of Malawo. We set off from our guesthouse at around 8 am, drove 1.5 hours, and then strapped on our running shoes, grabbed our Gatorade bottles, and had sweat rags on hand. Our ultimate goal was to reach the village of Malawo with the opportunity to distribute gifts to the children of this village. This would be my first visit to the village, but others had been there three times.

There is huge importance to this community as it relates to the rest of the country. Uttered amongst Liberians the name of Malawo brings up strong images, feelings and emotions. Malawo has been a focal point for traditional practices such as the secret society, and often attached to it are dark and often very spiritual events. It is known that at least two past Presidents have traveled to this area to offer human sacrifices (the picture above shows the altar) as there is a strong belief in Liberia that human blood has sacred powers. More often Malawo is associated with medicines/charms, and I don't mean medicine that you purchase in your local pharmacy! The night before we traveled there, many local staff shared stories of visitors to Malawo being "cursed" with leprosy, paralysis, and even death. (Not really a warm welcoming advertisement to the community).

You're wondering if I have lost my mind right? The reality is things are changing in this community and we have been invited through partnership with a local church to work in this area. Community members have come to realize, as a result of the war, that their past traditions do not hold the powers that they believed they did. The war forced people outside their village, therefore exposing them to other ways of lives. Many started to realize that they had put their hope in a power did not really protect them, as many lost family members, and all of them were touched in some way by the horrors of the war. Additionally, this community has come to realize that while they are holding on to the past they are not giving opportunity to their children and a future. (Currently, the children in the village walk 1.5 hours each way to school down the mountain, and the community suffers from lack of access to clean water, and other necessities).

It's hard to explain this all in a simple blog entry as it's very complex and there are many different aspects to explain. When our past team went their to visit they found a village that was split in their decision to invite "outsiders" in to visit. Up to this time, men could not wear toe covered shoes, women couldn't wear tops, there had not been light (like a generator) in this community ever, each entry point to the community had an arch way with charms hanging from it, and the whole community was encircled by a rope that everyone entering had to pass over. In one months time, at the urging of no one from outside, the community has removed the charms and the rope, women are allowed to be out of their houses on their own and wear tops, and the community is eager to have us return and even spend the night with them.

You might be saying to yourself, so what is the big deal, women are wearing tops? This is not about getting women to wear tops, nor to force development on someone, but it is opening people's eyes to the bondage they have been in. All these "rules", like no tops, are directly connected to secret society practices, and defying these rules means that you are challenging the very thing that you believed has made you powerful in the past. It's amazing and still blows my mind.

On a surface level, we went to do a simple thing, such as distribute gifts, or we have helped start a school in the community, or are working towards helping them with their water issues, but beyond that there is something very "real" and complex happening here. And I have gotten to be part of this change and to build relationships with people like the people of Malawo. It honestly brings me to tears thinking about what is going on in this one little tiny corner of Liberia...it humbles me and leaves me in awe.

Looking For Your Input

2008-02-21T05:52:00.002-08:00

I've been reading Muhammad Yunus' book, "Banker to the Poor", and was hoping to get your feedback to a paragraph that he wrote. (Muhammad Yunus, a Nobel Peace Prize winner, created Grameen Bank, which is a banking system specifically designed for the poor. Grameen Bank has provided 3.8 billion dollars to 2.4 million families in rural Bangledesh.)

"When we want to help the poor, we usually offer them charity. Most often we use charity to avoid recognizing the problem and finding a solution for it. Charity becomes a way to shrug off our responsibility. But charity is no solution to poverty. Charity only perpetuates poverty by taking the initiative away from the poor. Charity allows us to go ahead with our own lives without worrying about the lives of the poor. Charity appeases our consciences"

Give me your thoughts.

How Cute is She???

2008-02-08T13:43:00.001-08:00

2008-02-08T13:28:00.001-08:00

"Through crab, crayfish gets Water!"

Believe it???

Joseph: Kid Extrodinaire

2008-02-04T12:22:00.000-08:00

So I never know what to title these entries, but I simply have to write about one of the most impressive kids that I have ever met. I recently returned from a 5 day trip up country, hosting guests from the UK, and showing some of our projects. In one of the villages, we stopped to spend two nights at a guest house. There were TONS of kids around the area, and once they heard about us they all flocked to come greet us. It was a great two nights of laughter and fun with the kids.

None of them made a stronger impression on me though then Joseph. The second night, we were all outside on the porch having our evening cup of tea, and just enjoying the very beautiful setting. Suddenly, without even realizing it, there was a young boy about 10 years old who was standing there on the porch. It took only a few seconds to realize that this young boy was blind. It made even more sense when we discovered that to understand why his pants were on inside out. He exuded such confidence that we all immediately engaged with him in conversation. After finding out his name, he very boldly said, "I hear there is a young white girl here. I came to greet her".

It's hard to capture in words what it was about Joseph that grabbed each of us, but for the next ten minutes we were able to enjoy his presence. He is known through the community, and a the youngest of 7 kids, he has plenty of family in the area. Living overseas has many perks and one of them is meeting these amazing people, especially kids, who have such resilience despite adverse conditions and who continue to impress me at their strong will to survive and overcome whatever obstacle lies before them.

My Two Boys...Felix and Isaac

2008-01-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

One of my greatest joys out here has been getting to the know and spend time with our Country Director, his wife and their boys. Having a family as part of a field staff environment is a must for everyone. On the worst of all days all I have to do is go spend some time with Felix and Isaac and the worries go away. I love the innocence and simplicity of children and their thinking. These two boys have brought me hours of endless fun and really lightened life when it often gets dark.

One of my highlights has been driving them to work this week. They are full of fun ideas. We spent 20 minutes the other day discussing how we could buy or build a car which would be small enough to fit under all the others so that we no longer have to deal with traffic. How I wish that was true?

Tonight we drove to the airport together. I had a lot of laughs along the way. Felix was talking about shooting a gun, and so we talked about how you should never aim a gun at another person because it's dangerous, etc. At which point, Isaac states from the back seat, "Unless you're the UN". Haha...from the mouth of babes.

Then we were listening to music and this song came up, "The Wonderful Cross". Isaac loves music and started singing along and got to the chorus, and was singing the "Wonderful Crust" or something to that affect. So I corrected him, and told him the word was "Cross", like the one that Jesus died on. He then says, "so what is Jesus up to now?"

What to Call This Entry???

2008-01-25T14:52:00.000-08:00

Tonight, I was able to pick up a team of 5 people coming out of the UK that are here for 10 days to capture some of our projects on film. I was reminded about how long ago it was that I wrote when one of the team members said he found my blog before coming out here. I'm almost embarrassed now as I go back and realize it was November. I'm not going to go back in time, because to be honest December was more than I could almost handle. It was a highlight to spend time with my parents in Kenya, and then have them here for Christmas, but work was probably one of the most stressful months of my time out in Liberia.

Instead, I'll start with the New Year and updates from this side. I've made one of the hardest decisions that I have had to make in quite some time and that is to return to Canada after my contract finished April 15th. I was torn because quite honestly, this has been an experience of a lifetime and a time of my life that I will not quickly forget. Liberia has taught me so much about living cross culturally that it seems hard to walk away. However; I feel like my time here has come to an end. I feel my purpose in coming has been fulfilled and that it's time to look at what next. (and by the way, I don't know what comes next, so please don't start asking).

I have yet to reveal this fact to all of our staff here, but I'm sure it will get out quite quickly once I tell a few people. I have told my closest friends and some of the discussions have already led to tears. While I have peace in my decision to go back home, and believe it's the right move for me, it will not be an easy goodbye.

My goal to make each moment count for something in the time that I have left in country so that I can return home knowing that I gave my all.

What does it Mean?

2007-11-22T14:03:00.001-08:00

"When you pull rope, the whole bush shake!"

Any guesses on what it means?

This is me in my Contemplative Mood

2007-11-16T15:33:00.000-08:00

Let me preface this entry by stating that the other morning, very stupidly, I accidentally sat down on my laptop. It has caused me grief this past week as I cracked my screen when I did this, and now have black streaks across it. So it there are tons of spelling mistakes, etc...forgive me. Also it's 11;54, my power will go out in minutes, and I'm trying to scribble down my thoughts.

I think one of my greatest challenges this week has been the vast range of emotions I've been feeling. I've been contemplating already what next? The age old question for Melissa. I feel torn between not wanting to leave the people that I have grown to really love, but feeling like another year here may be too much. I feel really sensitive lately to the suffering around me. I came home yesterday after a long day, sweating, and just feeling tired. I was late from work, arrived home, started to make dinner, dropped off security guards at these friends house that was robbed, got back home and just hung my head on the table.

I was talking with two friends, who had equally challenging days emotionally and cross culturally, and I just felt this overwhelming feeling of, "Isn't this enough! Haven't people here suffered enough". It's not one thing in particular, it never is right, but it's the cumulative affect of watching situations and seeing people suffer.

Here is an example...You go to a work environment where you're goal is to help others. You are dealing with a staff member whose son was hit with a rock in the eye, and hasn't had vision in it for the past 5 days, and you're trying to help them with that situation. You travel home, but first you have to stop at the grocery store, and there are 10 amputees, and 5 blind people who have young children walking them around, outside your car banging on your window asking for something small. Only to come home and have your security guard slip you a note asking you for something to eat cause he hasn't been paid yet, and he hasn't eat yet today. Then you quickly start dinner before you have to go and drop security guards off at a friends house, cause the night before armed robbers came in and machete'd the husband in the face and he had to go for surgery...

Okay, so I'm combining what might have happened in a couple of days into one day. At the risk of sounding whiny or seeking sympathy, let me clarify that this is not why I'm writing this all down. I'm just processing it, contemplating it all and you're the lucky ones who get to share in that thought.

The question is, and I discussed this with a friend of mine today online, can you do service like this, strive to find balance, and healthy lifestyle, still remain compassionate, but not become emotionally void? These are my thoughts, and I have many more questions...

Update from this Side...

2007-11-04T11:32:00.000-08:00

After two months, I'm back and ready to write. It's gotten pathetic lately as I just have totally forgotten about posting anything the past little while. It's been a great couple of weeks, and lots of exciting things have been happening.

First off, I was able to travel to Ghana with a friend of mine, Ethel, who traveled over for a visit. The holiday was exactly what I was needed, and it a came at the perfect time. People have kept asking me what I saw and what I did while I was in Ghana, and the reality is not much. Other than shopping, it was sleeping, eating, swimming, reading, and relaxing. OH yeah, and getting a brutal sunburn the first day.

The visit with Ethel was a lot of fun as I was able to show off some of the work that we've been doing here in Liberia and get a chance to enjoy having a good friend from Canada here to lighten up life. We got up country twice, and almost got stuck on the road on one of those trips, but it was a lot of fun. Thanks to everyone who sent letters, and gifts...

Most recently, in fact last night, we all got to take part in another historical event here in Liberia. The Samuel K. Doe stadium was the home to over 50, 000 refugees during the war, and last night after months of renovation, the stadium re-opened. I kept thinking the whole time that it must have been pretty emotional if anyone was there that made this place home during the war. It was truly a historical event, and even though Liberia lost 2-0 to Sierra Leone, it didn't really matter as it was more the significance of attending than worrying about the score.

The most "interesting" moment of the night was the storming of the gates. There were literally hundreds of people outside the gate, wanting to get in, but not having the money to attend. Suddenly during the second half there was a flood of people coming into the stadium and we began to wonder what happened. Turns out that people stormed the gates, broke through and rushed into the Stadium to watch. IT had happened once earlier in the night on a lesser scale, but it was the Boy Scouts and the UN, yes the Boy Scouts, who swatted people back with sticks to hold the line. Unfortunately, they were not as successful the second time.

Regardless, it was an enjoyable night as our group enjoyed a night out to watch a bit of football. Not only was it's historic significance memorable, but on a more selfish level, it was even more nice to have a night out watching live sports. It's going to be fantastic to have future games here, and I look forward to seeing more live games. It's again another big step towards indicating that things are returning to normalcy here in Monrovia.

The Goat Is Sweating...

2007-09-29T12:56:00.000-07:00

"The Goat is Sweating, but you can't tell." This new expression was shared by our Livestock/Aquaculture Program Manager. He is an older gentleman that is technically very sound but has difficulty working on the computer. Every month when he goes to settle his financial records it stresses him out and takes him days. So the other day, someone asked him how he was doing. He said, "My friend, the goat is sweating, but you cannot tell". It made everyone in the room start chuckling.
Here is to short blog entries!!!

From Joy to Sorrow

2007-09-05T10:31:00.000-07:00

I have thought a lot at times about the focus of my blog. Is it meant to be an update for family and friends back home? Is it like my journal of my life in Liberia? Is it to discuss and bring to light relevant issues related to my work? I suppose I have never really settled on anything in particular, but rather use it for a variety of reasons. You've probably seen that in the variation of my entries. Today, I need to use my blog as a way to process events that have been going on here. I don't mean to exploit anyones life for the purposes of my blog but rather need to use this space as a tool to just let it all out.

Today, I experienced joy in a weird form. It came in the form of teaching someone how to add two digit numbers. I know it's the sounds too funny to even mention, but it was a very touching. Watching this lady's face though as she realized how to do this basic mathematical equation was something else. For those of you out there who have ever taught anyone a skill you know that look in someone's eyes, on their face as they have suddenly caught on to something. It's a very fantastic feeling to be able to experience with someone else.

I no sooner returned to my desk to explain this experience to my bossman, when he followed this up with news that one of our workers wife had just been beaten to death. She was beaten over the money she had acquired through selling cooking oil in the local community.

My heart is hurting a lot for this family. I sat in silence as I drove home contemplating the event that had occurred and the events that have been occurring as of recent in Monrovia. Some time back I wrote about myself being robbed, and the incidents around our housing area, but things are progressively getting worse. The UN is quick to deny that security is becoming more unstable, as they recently announced that they are downsizing because of the proficiency of the local police force, but it's not true. Just a week ago, a expatriate man was eating at a local restaurant and was chopped twice in the neck with a cutlass by thieves and needed to be evacuated. Groups of men are forming into mob groups and storming compounds. Things are not improving as of late.

This event today became even more personal. I struggle with the emotions of it all. I hardly know this man and never met his wife, and yet there is something deeply affecting me. I have strange questions, like how much money was her life worth? How can desperation of this kind leads to the murder of another individual? I wonder how these events affect our national staff after years of devastation, hundreds of thousands of country men being killed, and still the needless death is not ending?

I don't mean to leave it on this note, but I am going to for now.

Is Everyone Insane or Just Stuck on STUPID!!!

2007-08-30T14:49:00.001-07:00

This was a caption in one of our local newspapers today, and it brought quite a smile to my face. Isn't it a great caption!! I think the article was discussing and questioning how is it that people can make the same mistake year after year...ie building their houses on land that floods each year.

I didn't read the article closely, but I thought the author was being a bit harsh on people. It's a fairly strong statement, funny, but could be quite offensive. However on my way, I started to really contemplate this caption once more.

Currently, the government has money allocated from the World Bank to expand the road to four lanes all the way from the airport to the junction of the main road that travels through town. In the 16 months that I have been here, at least 12 of these it has been clear to residence living near the current side of the road that they must move as their house will be destroyed. The government has even gone to the lengths of marking people's homes with a big yellow "X" and then signing MPW (Ministry of Public Works). It's clear to house owners and the public which of the houses have been clearly marked for demolition.

Riding home today, we turned towards our house and noticed four men putting the roofing on a building that was clearly marked. In fact, they stand to loose 80% of the current structure. The driver questioned, "what are those men doing?". To which one of our staff replied, "Maybe they have hope". The funny thing was 100 feet down the road was a survey team working on gathering measurements for the road.

Can one call it hope? Can one call it disbelief? Or as someone once said, must someone shout out, "Is everyone insane or just stuck on Stupid?"

No Running-Oh

2007-07-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

Last night was a special treat. This turned out to be an unpredictable, unexpected event that really was such a special moment of my time here in Liberia. I had planned on just spending the evening at home. I have been, as my roommates call it, turtle-ing this past weekend. Thursday was Liberian Independence Day, Friday was declared a day off from the office, and then of course we had the weekend. I have been working for almost two months straight and I have found solace over these past three days by retreating to my room and just reading, listening to music, sleeping, watching the West Wing and spending time relaxing. So, of course, my plan for last evening was to do the same.

As the day progressed though it turned out that a few friends were going to grab food for supper. I jumped on board feeling like perhaps I needed to be a tad bit more social than I had been. Randomly, someone suggested that we head down to the Bamboo Restaurant in the heart of the city. There is nothing particularly interesting about this place; except for it has a third level location so the breeze comes through nicely. We found our seats towards the back of the restaurant as the typical Saturday night Reggae band was about to start and the sound can sometimes be a bit much.

We ordered our pizzas and got down to talking about important issues, like whether our friend Clint’s family really lives in a teepee. There was plenty of good discussion amongst the Brit/South African, Lebanese, American and Canadians when all the sudden there was a rumble, and we heard sounds off in the not so distant that resembled that of bombs. Chantelle looked at me with this look of, “oh goodness, what is happening”, all before we could notice that the full moon night sky was filling with brilliant colours.

What followed was ½ hour of the best fireworks display (thank you Chinese government) that I have seen. It was not because there was anything more remarkable in the display (other than one really cool firework that exploded to look like the continent of Africa), but was made it so memorable was the significance behind the event. To me it signified and demonstrated that Liberia is moving towards “normalcy” (I know that’s not the right word, but it’s all that comes to my mind). What I mean is that there are increasing signs of stability. This night signified one of those signs.

Just as the fireworks were going off in the night sky, the local police force was driving up and down the streets and on loudspeakers they were calming people’s questions/fears(?) about what was happening. “No Running-oh! Dis one dhere, dat one fireworks-oh!” People stopped, stared, children were dancing in the streets, and there was cheering and rejoicing and awe at this new chapter in Liberian life. No longer did the sounds that signify destruction and death have to mean such terrible things.

I can’t describe the night adequately, other than to say that during the whole thing each of was there staring into the sky and looking at each other in disbelief that we were privileged enough to witness this event. More importantly, I think we all had the feeling that we had witnessed something far greater than just a fireworks display.

What I Have Been Reading Lately...

2007-07-22T12:47:00.000-07:00

Well, another blog entry and not months in between...I think I'm improving. I have found time again to enjoy evenings out on the front porch enjoying the sunset, a good cup of coffee, and a chance to slow down in life and read a few pages here and there.

I am always someone that reads a few books at a time as I have a short attention span and need to flip flop back and forth. So lately, it's been a fictional book, and then Brian McLaren's "a Generous Orthodoxy". Let me start by saying that tossing around words in theological discussions like "exclusivist", "univeralists", "fundamendalist", and on and on, is not for me. It's probably cause I am a simple person with a simple mind. I do not claim to even a have a clue on these issues. So let me preface it all with those statements.

However, today I read a section of McLaren's book and it struck a chord in me.

When I say that I cherish an evangelical identity, I mean something beyond a belief system or doctrinal array or even a practice. I mean an attitude – an attitude toward God and our neighbour and our mission that is passionate. When evangelicals (at their best) sing, they sing. When evangelicals pray, they pray. When evangelicals preach, they preach. When evangelicals decide something is worth doing, they do it. They don’t tend to establish committees to study the feasibility of doing it. They don’t ask permission from the bureaucracy to do it. They don’t do a degree that qualifies them to do it. They just do it – and with passion.

True, this evangelical passion gets them into trouble from time to time. For example, passionate can easily degenerate into sentimental or cheesy or hotheaded or hardheaded or softheaded, and too often it has done so. But if I have a choice between the kind of trouble that comes from too much passion or the kind that comes from too little, my choice would be easy.

I paused for a moment as I reread this blurb, because I realized that I wanted to do a simple entry and now that I put this down, I feel like I have to justify, explain, reason, etc. The reality is that I'm not trying to make a statement about being pro-evangelical, or anti-evangelical.

Instead, as you can see from my bolded words, my desire is to live my life with passion. I'm not talking about living a reckless life but I'm talking about living each day with an attitude that says that I want to seize all that today has to offer, and whatever I take on, that I do it with zeal.

Beauty of the Beach

2007-06-29T11:57:00.001-07:00

Failing Miserable at Stillness

2007-06-23T15:48:00.000-07:00

After the last entry, a slightly humourous look at my life in Liberia, and what is just not normal about it, I've decided to go in a slightly different, more contemplative direction for this entry. My greatest struggle lately has been finding meaning in my work. I am plenty busy doing activities, but what has it all meant? I run around getting things done, working 6 days a week, and going in early to work and coming back a bit later. Given the circumstances, 19 visitors coming in the next week, and this marking our 60th visitors of the year, the situation demands busyness. But if I say that this time is just an exception, then I'm being a fool, because the reality is that I struggle constantly with finding a balance between work and between life outside of work. I struggle with finding the balance between busyness and stillness.

You might be shaking your head and asking yourself what I'm talking about, because from the outside it would seem that my job would be filled with meaning. The danger in my job is simply that...to assume that because I am in a job that gives to others that it must be meaningful, and therefore I have meaning. I love being busy and I love accomplishing things...Why? Because to be honest that is most times where I find my identity. I like being the person that people turn to to get things done, but lately it's struck me that I've lost my focus in the attempt to get the tasks done that need doing.

I've been reading a book, "Running on Empty: Contemplative Spirituality for Overachievers", by Fil Anderson. He speaks about this very issue of being busy for God, but not really spending the time to know God. This is where I am guilty. I am being challenged as I read his book to value solitude and prayer. I know that if I can reconnect to those values, I will reconnect with the meaning of why I do what I do.

Ours Lives are Just Not Normal

2007-06-15T16:16:00.000-07:00

We, being my friend Amy and I, often joke around and when our lives get too crazy or unexplainable, one of us looks at the other and says, "Our lives are just not normal!". And it's true in so many ways. Perhaps trying to pen these oddities may come out sounding extremely strange to even you as a reader. Let me try to share a few of these with you and perhaps you too will find yourself saying, "Her life is just not normal!".

The first example I can think of is describing my experiences in attending a graduation program for our female ex-combatant home. This program culminates with celebration and recognition of the girls who have successfully come through 9 months of basic literacy and vocational training. Seems like something "normal" right? A program that was to begin at 11 am, finally started at 1 pm. After watching two gentleman wire and re-wire just to get the electric piano to work that would have only been used for one or two songs, and having watched smoke come out of the power converter, they decided to go ahead with the program. The first hour of the program though, these persistent gentleman did not give up, but rather kept working right through the ceremony and even talked out loud about their generator problems right in the middle of the stage. Normal?

Or how does finding yourself in a situation where upon departure from the graduation the staff are trying to get a recently purchased monkey to stay in the back of the vehicle, so that they can bring it home as a pet. They keep chucking it in the back of the vehicle but the monkey keeps jumping back out of the vehicle and so they eventually tie it to the roof. All the way home of this three hour journey, you have to stop along the way to purchase this monkey bananas and ensure that it is okay. All this while, staff are getting sick and puking out the side of the window as you drive along. Normal???

Today, our Program Managers were all driving to a conference room to have a meeting at a local hotel. I couldn't pass by on the road, why? Because someone has decided to park their vehicle in the middle of the puddle and proceed to wash their vehicle right then and there. Normal???

Yesterday, I went to staple a document, and all the sudden a baby gecko jumps out from inside the stapler, onto my shirt, at which point I think it's a cockroach and try as best as possible to not swear as I swipe and the thing goes flying against the wall. Normal???

Last night, as with many nights this week, I decided to go to sleep early. I must have fallen asleep by 9:30. All the sudden, I'm awoken to sparks flying out from the outlet right beside my head, as I hear my computer power cord sizzling and a faint odour of something burning. The lightning struck our compound, came through our house, surged and blew light bulbs and of course my power cord. Power stayed out till 3 pm this afternoon, and of course this morning no generator, meant no running water. Normal??

I could probably go on and on...but I must stop. Why? because the generator is once going to shut off and I'll lose my document...Let me just say it one more time..."MY LIFE IS JUST NOT NORMAL!!!"

And Then There Were Three!!!

2007-06-10T01:50:00.000-07:00

I was so excited to find out early Friday morning that my sister Ashley had given birth to her third child, a little boy, and that they were both doing well and healthy. Congratulations Jon, Ashley, Rebecca and Jacob! I was able to call my sister in the hospital and talk with her on Friday, which was so great. It's moments like this that living overseas becomes difficult. The separation from family during these important moments is really tough. That being said, I'm glad there is technology available that we can stay in touch and I thought I would post a picture of the new family of kids all together.

I love you guys lots...

What a Return to Liberia!

2007-05-19T13:49:00.000-07:00

I have not yet blogged since returning to Liberia....well, simply because two thieves came and stole my computer right off the banister outside my house. I was sitting outside typing on my computer and my friend Hauwa was completing a "Soduko"puzzle. I took the computer off my lap and placed it on the banister of our porch. Suddenly, I heard a noise to my left, and there was a strange man standing on our porch steps. I peered to get a better look and as I did, I quickly noticed there was another man right in front of me. He grabbed for my computer, and I also reached out to get it back. Unfortunately, I was not quite quick enough and he managed to wrangle it out of my hands, and as he ran away he also grabbed my phone.

I'm not sure how long it all took, but what was probably seconds seemed like minutes or longer. The incident took place around 8 pm, and so it was a matter or not seeing them sneak up on us from the dark. As they ran away, my friend yelled, "rogue", and the security guard started running from the back of the house while my friends husband bolted out of our house for the chase. Unfortunately, they were not quick enough and now my computer joins the others on the street corner in Monrovia they call, "Buy it again"!

I lost almost all my files, and all of my photos from last year, and this was the most disappointing. I feel fortunate though as in the past two weeks, mine is only one of three incidents, and my situation did not involved weapons. We have had an increase of crime in our area as a result of the government moving homeless individuals out of a downtown cemetery to a piece of land near our property. While we see plenty of improvements in the country, it has become evident that unemployment is causing people to take harsher measures to make money.

It's been a stressful couple of weeks overall, as this incident and firing a Program Manager have pre-occupied my time and my energy. I"m trusting that somehow this week will improve.

Back in Liberia

2007-05-05T13:10:00.000-07:00

Just a quick update that I made it safe and sound back to Liberia. I arrived last evening on a flight out of Brussels, and the trip was rather uneventful. Other than a long journey there was nothing else to really note.
My time home was so wonderful. It was a mixture of visiting family in Northwestern Ontario for Easter, which included fun with my niece and nephews, grandparents, etc, and good rest and good food. The cold of the Northwest caught me off guard, and as we drove home in a snowstorm, I knew that I had arrived back in Canada. It was so nice to be back at home, under thick blankets, enjoying the time to relax and unwind.
After visiting there, I jetted off to Calgary for a few days and then onto the coast. Other than one quick trip to Whistler and Kamloops the time was spend in the lower mainland. Highlights included seeing "Stomp" with my friend Ethel, drinks and laughs with my friends Sara and Julie, meeting Caleb and Claire for the first time, three days relaxing in Whistler, and a great visit with my brother and his family in Kamloops.
Whether it was scaring/surprising my Mom and nephew Gabe, or just catching up with old friends it was such a great way to spend my month away. As I return to my work on Monday the daunting feeling of "the holiday is over" looms over my head, but I know time will figure all of that out. I have already received many compliments that I look "fat", which to many people here is a compliment as it means I have rested and relaxed. I can do nothing other than agree, because it truly was a great time away.

Home for A Rest!!!

2007-04-07T20:56:00.000-07:00

Well, it's out now and I can post it on my blog. I had to be careful before about posting blogs regarding my trip to Canada, because I was trying to keep it a secret from my mom. I had to rook my dad into my little scheme, so he was aware of my trip home, but my mom was not aware of anything. It was a sweet reunion. I have video tape footage of the greatest surprise moment that I have pulled on my mom. It was basically a long stare, followed by a long scream, followed by, "what are you doing here?". It was fantastic!!

I love being back in my home town. There is absolutely nothing to do, but I love it for that reason. My days consist of waking up whenever I feel like it, drinking a few cups of coffee in my pj's, then going for a small walk up the main street to visit my dad, check the mail, check my email, chat to some people I know, return home to watch a movie and basically just chill out. Oh yeah, there is a lot of eating in there as well.

The beauty of coming home is the ability to just relax and be still. I admit that it's hard to go from working full time to just relaxing, but it's wonderful. Being with family is a wonderful gift.

Thank you to my mom and dad who make home being so comfortable. Thank you to my brothers and sisters who make the sacrifice and come and see me over the holiday and the short time that I'm home.

Table Mountain - South Africa

2007-03-15T12:47:00.000-07:00

Rice is Life!!!

2007-03-15T12:11:00.000-07:00

Touching Lives

2007-03-11T00:06:00.000-08:00

This past week I have been privileged to work with a group of people from the UK and the US who have a passion to work with children, and who have a passion to use sport as a way to show love. We have hosted a soccer camp before, but this one had a different feel. Maybe it was the funny culture clash between Americans and Brits, "Do you spell it 'me wife', or do you spell it 'my wife'?" I'm not sure, but I know one thing, children's lives were impacted this week.

We went to a small rural area up country and it had a completely different feel than spending time in Monrovia with the team. Yesterday as we hosted a soccer tourney for children between the ages of 8-14, over 500 people showed up to show their support. As the winner took their trophy in hand and did a victory lap around the field you could feel that something good had taken place.

In particular there was one boy who I saw a big change in over the couple of days that we were there. Robert was quite aggressive when we first met him as we observed him hitting his sister, and getting into little fights with others. He walked around with a scowl on his face, and yet underneath it all you could tell there was a hurt boy. I had a sense that he was not well liked amongst his peers, and that if he did go to school he probably was picked on.

Through a lot of investment by the team, and a lot of hugs and smiles, I saw a very different boy yesterday. He was keeper for his team, and he was serious about his position. He crossed himself before the shootout and even kissed his posts, but none of that helped him. As he sat there in tears, one of the team members grabbed him by the arm and said, "You know ever since you let in that goal I haven't seen a smile on your face. You did well keeper. Now let's see a smile". And sure enough it returned and never left his face all afternoon.

At different times throughout the day I observed changed behaviour. Not only was it a returned smile to his face, but he offered me hair ties, he offered his shorts to a person on an opposite team who didn't have any to play in, and the most rewarding was watching him come up to this little sister and split his piece of bread in half and offer it to her.

I have always loved sports as you all know, but have never really used it in my overseas experience. I saw once again the wonderful medium that sport is to work in the lives of children. I hope to again soon be able to connect with this team and work in the lives of children in this miraculous way.

A Little LNP Action

2007-02-01T12:40:00.000-08:00

If you ever read any colleagues blog's you'll see that our run-ins with the Liberian National Police (LNP) are frequent and often result in a disagreement about some "traffic violation" that requires a little payment to get out of the situation. I ran into my own little LNP incident the other day, and it reminded me of an earlier incident that I had with them that I never blogged about till now.

This previous time, I was heading home from a grocery store near our office, and I happened to be in a colleague's personal truck. I was coming near the executive mansion and suddenly was pulled over at one of the checkpoints. There was no reason to it, but I pulled my vehicle over to the side of the road. I was asked to produce my license, and when the officer saw that it was valid till 2010, he was happy with that. He then asked for the papers for the truck and as I reached over to an empty glove compartment,I knew this was where my luck was going to change.

I explained to him that I was driving a co-workers vehicle, and that if I could call him I would be able to resolve the situation. While on the call, the officer insisted that I pull the truck over on to the sidewalk, which I did, and then also came to the passenger side of the vehicle. Not thinking and rather focused on my phone call, I unlocked the door and he slide into the passenger seat. I finished my call with my coworker only to find out that he was in the process of getting his papers, but that he was on his way to relieve me of this situation. In the meantime, I asked the gentleman to please step outside the vehicle while I waited for my co-worker. He refused, stating that if he did that, I would simple drive away (yes, I did contemplate it as an option). Secondly, he started wondering why I was suddenly insisting that he get out of the vehicle, and I explained that in my culture it wasn't proper for the police officer to climb into the vehicle, and that I would prefer he wait outside. He said he would not unless I gave him my license.

We discussed this back and forth before I finally caved and gave him my license. Stupid me!! Rule #1 with LNP is never give over your license. Now I was in a bind. My colleague came and I politely asked the gentleman for my license back. At this point, he began to explain Liberian traffic rules, and explained, "No traffic violation is transferable!". I asked him what the violation was, he said, "the vehicle papers are not with the vehicle". To which I replied, "Well then your issue is with this man here as he is the owner. I have a valid license which you have attested to, and I would like to continue on my way". Yeah right! Back and forth we battled and the more we insisted, the more he stated, "Traffic violations are not transferable!!". I'm not sure what finally convinced him to let me go, but after much deliberation and after having made me pay penance for kicking him out of the vehicle, I was allowed to leave.

The other day as I was pulled over to drop off coworkers at one of the junctions, I saw out of the corner of my eye an LNP officer standing there with his hands up to halt me. Again there was no reason, no violation that I had committed, and flashbacks of this previous experience flooded into my mind. While I'm not proud to say it, I revisted my previous experience in my mind, and I took off leaving the officer with his hand in the air and continued on my way home.

Let's Sit by the Fire...

2007-01-20T00:13:00.000-08:00

"Let's sit by the fire while we wait for the sun". This recent expression is going to do me well in my cross cultural setting. It's always a sticky situation when I'm visiting a community, or in a meeting with an official of some sort to find the proper response to a request. I'm often asked about what our organization can continue to do in a community. These requests can come from a community members, staff members, government officials, essentially anywhere. To say, "Let's wait and see", or to try and mumble out something that implies, "I heard what you said, but I can't do anything for you at this moment", always comes out awkward and ineffective.

So this past week, while I was visiting our sub-office in Foya, I learned this valuable expression from our Base Manager. He told me that he has used it many times and it has done him well. As I was sitting in a meeting with the district commissioner, after much back and forth banter, and many words of appreciation, the time for the request came. He politely said that he loves what our organization has done but hopes that we might find a way to put concrete bridges in place instead of wooden bridges. This comes just after we completed over 29 bridges in the area and more recently rehabilitated a bridge that connected a village to Foya town after 20 years of not having a vehicle being able to pass. (Roads and bridges are critical for people right now, because growing crops is one thing, but being able to bring them to market is another).

As I sat there patiently listening to the request, I figured that I should toss out the saying. I said, "You know what? I just learned this excellent expression the other day", and I proceeded to say, "You know, let's sit by the fire while we wait for the sun". Sure enough, this huge smile spread across the man's face and he let out a soft chuckle. I was able to transition quickly to another topic while he was still in his jovial mood.

Twin Mother

2007-01-10T14:10:00.000-08:00

Picture this scene. You've just finished a wonderful holiday, but returned to work, and you have to deal with a number of instances of misuse of vehicles over the holiday. You've already dealt with one employee and they've actually responded positively, accepted the warning letter, and made an apology. So now, you're feeling like you've hit a groove and call in the next employee to discuss the matter with him.

Suddenly it all turns wrong. As you explain to the employee that you will have to issue him a warning letter and add it to his file he starts to grow increasingly frustrated with the situation. You now have to listen patiently to all of his excuses as to why he feels justified in taking the motorcycle. "No credit on my phone," he says. "Been waiting for a taxi for hours", he claims. They are all possibly good reasons in his mind, but none excuse the fact that he took the motorbike.

After 20 minutes of discussion, it comes down to you finally saying, "You know, you're putting me in a difficult position, because if I excuse you from this then I have to excuse everyone else who has in their mind a good reason for using property without permission".

Suddenly, your 40 something year old Security officer breaks into a Liberian illustration, "You know Melissa, I understand. You are like a twin mother to us here. You cannot lie on your left. You cannot lie on your right, but you have to lie on your back". He begins to act out the analogy in the seat across from yours.

At this point, your left wondering, "Where is this man going to go with this story?" You continue to patiently listen.

It gets weirder as he now is cupping himself as if he has breasts and says, "You have to try to feed both babies at the same time". Yes, he is cupping himself!

You're left there, staring at this man, trying not to register any facial expression that reveals your complete confusion and utter disbelief as to what is happening right before your eyes. You're only solution is to quickly wrap it up and you end the discussion slightly more confused and definitely more violated than when you began.

If anyone gets the illustration, please let me know...I'm still confused.

"My New Year's On You-O!"

2006-12-30T08:49:00.000-08:00

Liberian English and in particular Liberian sayings are wonderful. One of my co-workers is in fact producing a Liberian English document that will highlight grammatical and pronunciation differences. As well, there is a whole section devoted to Liberian phrases and proverbs and their meaning. It's quite a hilarious read and I hope he puts it to print for others to enjoy.

Lately, the more familiar and popular sayings has been, "My Christmas on you-o". Meaning, "Cough it up. I need some money to pay the Christmas bills". It's of course now switched to, "My New Year's on you-o". But it has the same connotation of course. It doesn't matter who the person is, they may know you, they may not, but there is absolutely no hesitation in drawing it out over the Christmas season. You can have a bit of fun with it, and reply, "I'm sorry-o. I wen in the shower and it wash yo Christmas off-o". To which they will reply something to the affect of, "I' no possible. I' in your blood-o".

Today, one of our security guards at work said. "I' no' easy Melissa. I' Saturday an de ground i' not even-o". I of course drew a blank, and asked her to repeat. She giggled and repeated it for me. All the sudden I clued in, and realized she was asking for something small, so as to make her step easier, to make her path smoother. I just laughed it off, climbed into my car and said that I would see what I could find as I continued to drive around.

Don't worry though, these sayings are not limited to just the holiday season. Often, "my weekend on you-o", or, "my sof' drink on you-o" are commonly heard statements. I shouldn't make it sound like all the Liberian English statements are ones that are a request for funds. There are plenty-plenty others that I enjoy. I thought I would just share these ones for today.

Feliz Navidad!!!

2006-12-23T01:20:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas friends and family! It's Saturday morning and we have made it to Christmas break. It's tougher for me living in a tropical country to feel like it's Christmas, as I grew up experiencing snow and freezing temperatures. My sister-in-law sent me a Christmas survey this morning and it got me thinking back to childhood memories and the traditions that we have as a family around Christmas. The nostalgia (by the way, Marcel is my spell checker as I'm writing this), surrounding the holidays is amazing. As I get older, I wonder how much of the holidays is the nostalgia, wanting to relive a memory of the past, a childhood gone by, and how much of it is enthusiasm for the actual season.
Wow! How do I transition from that last statement to something more light hearted, which was what I intended to do when I was thinking of posting something this morning? I really just wanted to jot down a few of my favourite memories. There are some definite things that I will miss this year. I will miss my family discussing when we should open the one Christmas gift on Christmas Eve. My dad reading from Luke before we can open the gifts. Paul convincing us he knows all of his gifts before he opens them, and sure enough he does. My mom working hard in the kitchen preparing food all day long. My grandpa's arguing over some topic that they very passionate about at the moment. Our family gathering around the table at night, deciding what flavour of chips to open while we play games. My brothers cheating at the games because they are such poor losers, but try to justify it somehow. It all comes down to time with family and friends, not what we do or how we do it, but the fact that we get to spend time together that makes Christmas special for me.
With that in mind...I am going to go shopping for some food and do some baking this afternoon. It's time to get into the season before it's over. We're going to make the most of the holiday even though all of us are away from family and friends. To all of you back home...Happy Holidays.

A Much Needed Vacation

2006-12-17T00:51:00.000-08:00

South Africa and all its beauty was absolutely the way to spend my vacation time away from Liberia. Since my return, I’ve been told many times by our national staff that I seem “fatter” and “relaxed”. So, I take this a compliment and an outward sign that I have in fact gotten the rest that was needed. The time was spent with my friend Ethel, who flew all the way over from Vancouver, and we had a great couple of weeks catching up on life and enjoying laughs. For me, it was a two hour flight to Ghana and then a 6 hour flight down to Jo-berg. Other than having to brave the West African flight company, SLOC, I was in good hands and it was an easy trip down.

People have asked me what my highlight was, and it’s impossible to choose just one. These are the most memorable and the ones that when I think of them, they bring a smile to my face. Kruger Park was a highlight as this was the first activity we did and it was an experience to remember because not only did we see the BIG 5, but we saw in the leopard carrying an Impala within its jaw down from a tree to another more acceptable location to eat it. Other highlights include hiking around Table Mountain, renting a car and driving the wine route, sitting on the cliff edge over top the ocean and watching the sun set while enjoying a glass of white wine, and hiking through Tsitsigammi National Park alongside the ocean and scrambling over rocks till we reached a 60-80 foot high waterfall cascading over the rocks. The excellent food was also a highlight. At times it was as simple as buying fresh fruit, cheeses, bread and enjoying it a top Table Mountain, or other times it was having fresh sushi and King clip at an ocean side restaurant. Regardless the whole experience was a treat and a huge blessing.

Coming home was more of an experience, and it was a quick wake up call that I had re-entered my West African homeland. Arriving in Ghana, at 9 pm, we had a huge queue for customs, and then arrived in the baggage area to discover that there were mechanical problems preventing our luggage from coming off the plane. I crawled into bed just after midnight.

The next day is when the real adventure began. I arrived at the airport two hours before my departure and realized the line was quite long already. I had a nagging feeling that things were not going to go well, but I couldn’t quite pin what it was that was making me uneasy. I sat there for 20-30 minutes, and only two or three people were checked in, and I knew that this flight was never going to leave on time. But that still wasn’t what was bothering me, as this was typical and I was prepared for either a delayed flight or even a cancelled flight. I watched patiently as passenger after passenger stepped up to an attendant who positions himself at the end of the queue, but before the ticket/check in, to check off one by one on a hand written list the names of passengers. At this point, I was oblivious to the fact that this was a list of names of people who had in fact reconfirmed their ticket. I had heard that you needed to call ahead of time, but with my late arrival the night before, no cell phone in South Africa, I had just figured that if I arrived early enough I would be fine.

As this man checked off names and allowed some to pass through to the check in counter, and others he made pass to one side, I realized that I could be in trouble. As there were three or four gentleman standing around this airline agent, I realized that some shady deals were being negotiated to get their passengers on board an already overbooked flight. It didn’t take a genius to see that from the immediacy and urgency of some passengers that this flight was in fact overbooked. I sat thinking to myself, “Now what to do?” It was too late to reconfirm, and yet, I knew I would find myself in the same situation as those standing to one side.

Roughly an hour and a half of waiting patiently, my time to meet this man who controlled my flight future, was upon me. Sure enough after watching him very methodically, and quite slowly flip through pages of names, he turned to me and said, “Your name is not on the manifest.” I tried pleading ignorance at this point. He put me through to the check in counter, so i thoguth somehow I had beat the system, because I thought for sure he had bought my sob story and that I was on my way. All of these thoughts were dashed as the check in agent simply said, “Your name is not on the list. You will have to stand over there on standby”, and then walked away with his newspaper for his schedule break.

For the next 30 minutes, I watched as chaos began it ensue and as those with confirmed tickets were allowed to check in and pass by those of us desperately hoping to be allowed to go. The lines started to blur between those with and without tickets, and those on standby started to become more vocal. None of this phased the check in agents, as I’m sure they’ve been in this position thousands of times before. I at one point I politely asked what I could do to get on the flight, as I needed to return to work the next day, and was politely told again to wait. All this time, I am praying hard…realizing my own stupidity has put me in this position, but hoping that God will somehow intervene. While I try to remain patient, I’m willing to admit my own stupidity, but am frustrated as I continue to see shady deals being made between ticket agents, and middle men who have guaranteed passengers that they will get on the flight.

All the chaos for me ends, as it came down to the point of having waited over 2 hours, the ticket agent points and says, “1”, “2”, and “3”. I’m number three and was allowed to check in and quickly run through customs and security to get to my flight. I feel bad for those that I’m leaving behind, but I couldn't made eye contact with them as I pass by having my ticket in hand, and thanking God for allowing me to get on. There were only 2 gates in the Accra airport and within that gate waiting area there were three flights waiting to board. Our flight was now unbelievably late, so they allowed Belleview and Kenya Airways flights to board ahead of us. We then were allowed to board, and were ushered onto a transfer bus that drove us approximately 200 feet, before it opened its doors and we were at the airplane. Why we had to board the bus I have no idea, but I did not care at this point. Then we had to stand for some time as there was more confusion. Eventually, I stepped on board, finding someone in my seat, but quickly learned that it was open seating. I took the first available seat as I was still convinced that something was going to go wrong and that they had probably still boarded too many people. I was convinced that if I was seated they could not ask me to leave.

After 15 minutes of waiting on the tarmac the doors closed. We were all dripping with sweat at this point as the flight was full, and the air was not flowing through the vents. It took us till we got to cruising altitude that the air started to finally flow, and I was able to close my eyes and get some rest after my “SLOC” experience.

I had mixed feelings returning. No one likes coming back to work after a great holiday and a week and a half before Christmas break, but none the less, I was once again in Liberia. All of these doubtful feelings quickly washed away the next morning as I once again met with our staff and was reunited with my coworkers. As I sat there singing our morning songs, a calming feeling came over me and I felt at peace about being back.

A Sunny Sunday Morning

2006-11-05T00:15:00.000-08:00

For those of you whose weather is turning to cold, I apologize for this entry, but it is beautiful weather here in Liberia these days. You must understand that after enduring months of unbreaking, unending rainfall, torrential at that, I am so excited to see the sun. True in a few weeks, I'll be complaining about how my clothes stick to me, and about how I'm continually sweating, but for now, I bask in the glow of the sun.

The group of six that we have had with us for the past few months are returning home in a week. It will be strange to see them go, and because we are hosting this UK soccer team right, I fear it will be a quick hug and goodbye on my part. We have realized in the past month and a bit how much we have relied on some of these individuals, and have realized what a huge part they have played in our programming. Both on a personal level, and a work level, they will be missed tremendously. The house that I have occupied with them, will seem quite empty next week.

As part of their "debrief", we decided to head out to Robertsport, an approximately three hour drive from Monrovia. It has not been possible till now to visit it, as the weather has kept us back, as well as the fact that the rubber plantation that is close has been inhabited by ex-combatants. Until recently, and the UN movement to disperse them out of the area, it has not been considered one of the safer places to visit. Its NorthWest of Monrovia along the coast but one must travel first inland and then back out to the coast to reach there. Liberia has many of these places that have great potential to be touristy, and Robertsport is just one of those places.

When you first arrive, you truly feel that you are in the south part of the States, and again, like other places, you have the feel of, "this must have been quite the place before the war" feeling. Massive churches with stain glass windows sit atop at least two of the higher places in the city. Windows on the houses have shutters, and although the paint is chipping, it was once a brightly coloured town. We drove through it fairly quickly on our way out to the beach, but at one point as you climb up a hill, you can look back and see this penninsula stretching out into the sea with sandy beaches all around it. It's a magnificent place.

We found our beach spot, and quickly set up our tent. We all changed into our suits, grabbed the three surf boards and headed to a place they call "loco" beach. It's 20 minutes walk along beautiful beach, with one detour into the bush to avoid the crashing waves over the black lava type rocks. We bushwacked our way through to the other side, to find a great little section of beach to both enjoy the sun and the surf.

I am getting old!!! Yes, I am, because as I looked at the waves crashing to shore, with one huge massive rock standing out of the sea on my right, and two hundred meters to the left more rocks, I thought, "no way, I'm going to bash myself against that mother of a rock and I'll be done". Where this fear comes from, I don't know, because I'm usually the first person to jump in and get going. This time, I stood on the beach, surf board under arm, looking out to the waves and for just a moment, and I thought, "nope, not going to do it...it's not worth it". I quickly came to my sense, ran into the water, jumped on the board and paddled out.

You have to understand that I cannot surf, not do I have any claim to being able to do so. But, the very cool thing, as opposed to the area that we surf near out house, was that this place actually allowed you to get beyond the surf, rest, and then come into a wave. It was absolutely beautiful to just sit out on the board, and look at the waves as they crashed into shore. I have never been that strong of an advocate or that passionate about learning to surf until this moment.

I waited and then chose my wave...I paddled with all my strength and before I knew it, I was in the wave. Now the problem was getting to my feet. I also switched recently from a huge beginner board to this tiny, needlenosed board, and so I found myself holding on, trying desperately to get to my feet, but both my lack of strength and the sheer power of the wave, I was only able to ride it in on my belly. As I got near shore, I realized that I was going to land hard on the sand. Sure enough I came in and then got booted off of it, only to be thrown onto my back, and then washed over by a huge wave that then scrapped my body over the sand. I stood up, hair dripping over my eyes, totally shell shocked, with a huge red rash on my back. But you know what, IT WAS AMAZING!!!

Sunday Night in Monrovia

2006-10-29T14:46:00.000-08:00

We're all sitting here, three girls and I, watching an old episode of "grey's anatomy". It's become a Sunday night tradition around our house. I usually make popcorn and sit down for a good hour of entertainment. For those of you not into the series, you really should be...

Today was an absolute beautiful day. After a painful 2 hour church service, I retreated home and was delighted to find out that the power was still on. It had surpassed our regular 10 am shut off time, and it was wonderful. It allowed me to catch up on a few work things that I needed to get done, and enjoy the air conditioner.

Once the power did finally go out, I was able to go and enjoy the beach. It's been months since the weather has been nice enough to wander down and enjoy the sun and the sand. It is easy to take for granted where I live, and now that the sun is back, I'm reminded of the beauty. It was a wonderfully relaxing afternoon.

As we prep for a 15 person football team to come from the UK, you can remember me. I have a tremendously busy next couple of weeks, and it will be both rewarding but challenging. My goal is to make it to November 24th...then HOLIDAYS!!!!

A Future??

2006-10-03T15:33:00.000-07:00

I was writing my previous post and got distracted by work, and so I'm giving it another go, and hopefully will finish my entry this time. I apoligize for the huge gap here in writing, as I believe it was early September the last time I wrote. I also read comments that many of you posted on my last entry and appreciate your encouraging words.

My new observation, which also becomes a huge frustration at times, is the little to no thought of the future that Liberians hold. Not a very profound statement if you think abot it...I mean, people have been in survival mode for 14 years, and did whatever they could to escape death, and then all of the sudden, things switch and people are asking you to think about the future, and plan for the years to come.

Take any of the following... introduction of social security, deducting taxes, using banks, paying into a health benefits plan, etc...I could go on and on. Liberians are not used of this and they are very untrusting of any of the above mentioned. Again, is it that hard to believe??? Liberians have lived through decades of corrupt politicians who ate up their money and spent it on on their own luxurious lifestyles.

This mistrust of others and inability to think far into the future played itself out recently with a discussion on a medical benefits plans. We currently play staff "X" USD per month to cover any of their medical expenses. As an alternative to this, we found out that there is a reputable insurance group now who offer a good medical package. We have held meetings with our staff regarding switching over our process, so that we don't pay them the "X" USD per month, but rather enroll them in this insurance plan.

For those of us from the West this sounds like a good idea and logical. But here, because of factors, such as mistrust of these systems , or the recent deductions of social security and taxes, they cannot see the value of this plan. They cannot see the benefit in it, but instead look at it as another deduction from their payroll, or another system that will steal their money with no payout. How we see it of course, is that they have not been saving the monthly USD that we currently pay out, and will not have the money to cover their expenses if they actually get sick. Where it gets frustrating for us, is that we know that if a staff member actually does get sick, they undoubtably will come asking to having assistance with their medical bills.

So, we continue to work in this post-war culture that has deeply affected so many different aspects of people's mindsets and thought processes. The longer I live here the more I see this impact of living for the immediate and living in survival mode having long term affects.

Another Fascinating Week

2006-09-02T15:18:00.000-07:00

You can never predict how your week is going to go while living here in Liberia. Granted, many of you can probably say the same about life in Canada, but yet, there is something particularly unpredictable about living in a developing country. While I have a calendar on my wall that highlights some of the places that I want to visit in a month, or the key tasks that I need to accomplish, I'm always amazed when I look back on a week and see how drastically that has changed, and in the end how amazing it is that is all worked out for the better.

Take this last week as an example. It began last Saturday, with a scheduled "First Aid" workshop that was to take place at the office. I arrived at the schedule time to start, because as is the case with almost all meetings in Liberia, the scheduled time and time it starts is a minimum of 30 minutes difference. I was not shocked when I discovered that two people had arrived, but I was a bit concerned that our guest presenter had not yet shown her face. After tracking down a phone number, and now 20 minutes after start time, I was able to learn that in fact she would not be coming at all. Rather than get totally discouraged, the hidden blessing came in being able to work with our Special Projects Team in delivering school supplies. I was able to spend the afternoon with over 100 kids, snotty nosed, raggidly clothed, and deeply in need. The "I'm blessed to experience this moment" came as 12 small children gathered around a table, and started chanting together, "MANPOWER...MANPOWER...MANPOWER", and carried this table a hundred feet or so into the school. After finishing one task, they quickly moved on to the other and in the end had moved at least a half of dozen pieces of furniture into the building.

There were many other things that happened this week that from the outset looked like disaster or discouraging things, but none stands out as much as the event on Friday. I drove up to visit one of our project sites on Friday, after having learned of staff conflict. You know me and my desire to deal with conflict, it stands out as one of my least favourite things to do, following closely with my desire and ability to make decisive decisions. So, you know that I was not in the best of spaces as I left Monrovia. Anyways, I arrived, and was to have a brief meeting with the staff before having a community meeting. Moments after arriving in the village, I was barreling down a dirt road to pick up "Frank the Father" and a midwife so that we could get them to a VERY pregnant lady about to deliver her baby. Within 15 minutes of arriving at the expectant mother's house with all people in hand, we heard the cries of a newborn baby, and within a half an hour I was holding a beautiful newborn in my arms.

So again, it has been another memorable week and in that fact a memorable month. As I look into September, I realize all that has to be done in the next two and half months before the end of internship, before we hopefully get funding for a new HIV/AIDS education program, before we hopefully expand our Adult Literacy classes, before we host 20 coaches from the UK for a 10 day soccer camp throughout the country, that I could get overwhelmed by it all. (And that of course is without considering all of those unpredictable things that will come up!!!) So instead, I have resolved myself to the fact that yes, the month will be busy, but more than that, I look forward to it with anticipation as I know that there are many more unpredictable moments that will turn into, "I can't believe I get to experience this" moments.

A Few Thoughts on a Saturday Night...

2006-08-12T15:56:00.000-07:00

I sit here, my second attempt at writing what is a long overdue blog. Do you think it's ironic that I started to write my blog on cross-cultural stress and then my computer shut down and I lost my first entry? I think it's funny, because it's so indicative of how my past month has gone.

Yes, some of the fuzzy feelings about Liberia have begun to fade. For those of you who have lived overseas before, you've probably reconized that time when the "honeymoon" phase begins to wear off. All the things that once seemed like an adventure, or part of the experience, become truly annoying and frustrating. For me cross cultural stress is pretty reconizable, as I grow easily frustrated with small things, feel agitated, find that I'm critical of others and the country that I'm in, find that I grow a bit outspoken, and begin to see everything in a different light. Some of you just stopped reading that list and said to yourself, "hey that sounds like her on a good day in Canada!!!"

So you're probably wondering what brought on this little funk that I was in? It's really a combination of lots of little things, and when I write them even they don't seem any reason to get down. But anyways, I think the rain and grey weather had a part to play, internet being out for two weeks, or things in the brand new staff house already breaking/not working. Part of it too is looking around and seeing some terrible things that are happening in Liberia right now. Petty crime on the rise, and other crimes happening even right near our workplace...so it's all cumulative I suppose.

Anyways, it's been an interesting past month for that reason alone. But, a lot of good things have happened as well. All interns are safe and in full swing with their projects. We have moved into our new staff house, and I have my own room and my own space. This has meant very good things for me, as I feel like I'm truly settled. And just generally things are going well at work. In fact, I got to spend some time with our Adult Literacy program and that was truly encouraging. People who didn't know how to hold a pencil a month ago are recognizing and putting sounds together, and are on the bring of reading. So, while it has been a tougher couple of weeks, it's also been filled with lots of blessings.

I'm going to post this blog, as I've been having lots of problems with my computer tonight. Go figure!! So, I have more thoughts to write, and I'll try to expand on these more in the future.

Stampede Breakfast

2006-07-10T13:22:00.001-07:00

Yes, apparently the almost two years of living in Calgary had some affect on me. My co-worker Sarah, who is here for three months, is from Calgary and so we threw our own Stampede breakfast on Saturday morning. It was fantastic! We planned on an outdoor event, but were disappointed to wake up to rain. Luckily, we had just the right amount of people and it wasn't too crowded to be able to hold the festivities in our house. We estimate that we served up somewhere between 170-200 pancakes, and at one time had about a dozen people line dancing in our living room. Sarah took the lead on most of this, and I acted as junior cowgirl. She had decorated our place up right Fancy, and we had the country tunes pumping throughout the morning. Issac and Felix, the Kauffeldt's two boys, keep asking when the next Stampede breakfast is going to be, and so we consider it a success.

Apart from our own version of Stampeding...we of course watched the world cup come to an end last night. We didn't exactly see it right through to the end though as the generator broke down and we missed the shoot out. Disappointed to hear that Italy won...but oh well, I didn't have my heart set on either of those two teams.

Interns have also arrived, which has impacted all of our lives. 6, yes 6, have arrived from across the US. We spent last week in orientation with them, and this week are seeing most of them move out to their various worksites and projects. They're a great group to have around, and have added some unique flavour to our office.

And of course, our staff house is nearing completion. Come the end of next week, I think we'll be able to move into the new place. I have yet to go inside, but people tell me that it's looking great. The contractor pimped out the place a bit by putting silver, "SP", lettering on the outside of the bars that protect each of our windows. It's a bit tacky, but you can hardly say anything, as the guy thinks this was a great added bonus.

Anyways, I'm heading back up to Foya on Thursday for almost a week to help settle in two interns. I hope to shake this head cold that I have before then, but apart from feeling a bit run down, I'm looking forward to getting back up North. Will write more upon my return.

Is it July Already??

2006-07-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

Happy Belated Canada Day to all of you in the homeland!! We celebrated in Liberia with fellow Canadians at a potluck and a game of volleyball. No big parades or bands, but we did manage to round up a few of us to celebrate the day. Canada, America and Liberia all celebrate their independence this month so we have all of our staff covered for holidays.

Things are moving onwards and upwards here. We were shocked the other day as we saw power poles and wires being hung along the main roads of Monrovia. The President has promised power by July 26th and so everyone, including her opposition, are anxiously waiting to see if she'll meet her campaign promise. Each day I notice small differences and small changes occuring throughout the city that indicate continued growth. With this development comes more beauracracy, which is a challenge, but I suppose inevitable.

Lot's of other changes going on with us. Many of our international staff will be travelling home for vacation or home leaves this summer. In their absence, we have had 6 interns arrive from the US, and I think this will keep us on our toes. They're a good bunch and it's hard to believe that I was in their similar shoes a couple of years ago. Sometimes I feel like life is passing me so quickly, and then other times I realize that so much has happened.

Anyways, feeling like this one needs to be a short update. Busy days, long days, and just feeling tired. I have been reacting strongly to red ant bites, and it's driving me nuts at night. I swell up and they are so darn itchy. Even thinking of it right now is driving me nuts....alright...I'll write more soon.

From the Land of Lofa

2006-06-25T01:56:00.000-07:00

Morning...

Remember how in my last posting, I had said that I was going to fly by helicopter up north to Lofa County to visit a project site? I can't explain all of the confusion that has happened the last four or five days regarding flights, but I do know that we ended up travelling by road both ways. It was approximately 10 hours each way give or take a flat tire, and a tea break. One might think that all that travelling might have tarnished the trip, but it was actually a great couple of days.

We arrived late on Wednesday night into Foya, a growing town/city about 8-10 miles from the Guinea and Sierra Leone border. This part of the country has long been recognized as the breadbasket of Liberia. The thick, dense forest resembles many other parts of the country, but what makes this area unique is the hilly landscape and rocky outcrops. Because Foya is a border town, there are still plenty of refugees returning to the area. Within two hundred feet of our office there is a UNHCR transit center, and during my time there we witnessed refugees coming in from Guinea. Accurate statistics are difficult to come by in Liberia, but there are estimates of 1500-2500 refugees still returning each month.

Thursday and Friday were spent visiting our projects that are going on in the area, and also conducting meetings with local leaders to discuss their interest in an HIV/AIDS education program. Additionally, we have 3 interns who are arriving at the end of this week, and we needed to ensure that things were being set up for them. All of these meetings went well, and it became apparent that there is a definite need in the area. I learned how to ride a motorbike, ate lunch with the Pakistani battalion of the UN, and experienced road conditions unlike any other.

Thursday night we met up with our staff at a local "video club" to watch Togo vs. France in the world cup. The week before I had watched the game in a restaurant in Monorovia with all of the ex-patriot community, and this week I experience almost a complete opposite experience. As my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, one of our staff flashed his cell phone light to catch our attention. I quickly found my seat and I looked around to get a picture of my surroundings. The old part of walls were still laden with bullet holes, and the missing parts of walls had been rebuilt with new material. The roofing was made up of UNHCR tarp, and we all sat on long wooden benches. I estimate that there were over 100 people in the room all watching a 26'' TV screen. D

Despite the different surroudings from the week before at the hotel, the intensity with which people love their football remained the same. As the bad weather knocked out the picture, the crowd grew anxious and restless as they were desperate to watch the game. My colleague at one time had to stretch out his arms between the two gentleman in the bench ahead as their discussion over a hand ball call was growing quite heated. As France scored their second goal, I heard comments from a gentleman on my left to the effect of, "ah, the white men...they never get a call against them...". As the game ended, we filed out with the 100 others to the smell of chicken being roasted on a charcoal grill and loud comments being made about the game. We jumped on our motorbike and drove off to the guesthouse. It was one of those nights you remember as being an experience that you don't want to forget. Not because there was anything monumental about the night, but because you left feeling like you had experienced something real.

Keeping you Updated

2006-06-18T01:20:00.001-07:00

It's always difficult to know where to start my entries because there seems to be so much that goes on in a week. I suppose the theme this week would be "breaking down". It seems like everything was breaking or not functioning properly. Two of our coffee pots went on the fritz, which if you know the staff here is disasterous. The airconditioning broke down on Thursday, and lastly our internet was out for three days. None of these things were any big deal on their own but collectively made us wonder what was going on! I'm happy to say that 2 out of 3 are back up and working, and we've resorted to using a French press for our coffee addiction.

Otherwise, it was work as usual mixed in with a whole lot of rain. Strategy meetings, coordination meetings, ...you get the picture. It was a good week though, and the weekend has been even better. I wouldn't have said that waking up yesterday, as the night before was one of the most terrible sleeps I've had since arriving. I woke up at 2:30 with an uneasy feeling and it kept me awake for quite a while before I was able to drift off to sleep. I must have been quite tired because everyone woke up yesterday morning talking about the big commotion that took place at 5:30 am. I remembered waking up to some lights flickering around outside and a few loud voices, but had assumed that it was our security doing their routine checks. Turns out that our security had captured 1 of 3 rogues who were trying to steal/break into a house on our compound. In true Liberian fashion mob justice came into play and they gave him a good beating. The positive in the situation is that they turned him into the police before they beat him to death.

The rest of the day went well...in fact it went great. We had a guest that had been here for four days this week over for a pancake breakfast before I was able to drive her to the airport. (That drive is one of my favourites by the way...good paved road and beautiful scenery) Then upon my return, I discovered both our air conditioning was being fixed, and our internet was back up and running. I capitalized on the internet till the power went out at 1, and then crawled into bed for a good afternoon nap. The evening was spent at a gathering for our visiting Canadian ambassador from Cote d'Ivoire and a member of the Trades Commission, and then off to watch football/soccer.

As mentioned in a previous blog, the feeling around world cup here is fantastic. The restaurant that we gather at to watch was packed with people. We walked in 20 minutes into the game and luckily found a seat in the back of the room. Italian fans more or less on one side with American supporters on another, and a whole lot of controversial calls. It was fantastic! Everyone left feeling like it was great atmosphere and a great night.

Tomorrow I hope to take the UN chopper up to the north part of the country. I'm going primarily for an assessment of the area. This will be an area of the country that we will be focusing more and more of our work on in the area. Currently, we're working with the community to rehabilitate swamps, but will expand to more and more program activity. Part of that will be placing an intern there for church reconstruction projects, and also I'm going to assess whether or not we can be doing something with HIV/AIDS education. So, I'll hopefully be on the flight tomorrow and returning on Wednesday. It will be a quick trip, but a much needed one. I'll be sure to post my findings when I return.

Till then...HAPPY FATHER's DAY!!!

World Cup Fever

2006-06-10T07:06:00.000-07:00

It's Saturday around 2 pm. The game is just starting into the second half, and England leads Paraguay 1-0. The restaurant is full of English fans, and there are loud cheers going up as Beckham touches the ball. World Cup fever has hit Liberia as it has other places around the world. I've been sucked into the scene and feel like I need to choose a team soon. There are posters all around town, entertainment centers have opened up especially for the event, and the line up at the satellite server the other day was long as many pleaded for a connection to be established before the start of the event. As Canadians, we're trying desperately to stay in touch with Stanley Cup playoff results, but we're lucky if we can get a 20 second clip on ESPN here. I've come to realize that my knowledge of football and cricket will be far greater than b-ball, or hockey come the end of this year.

Apart from getting deeply involved in world cup watching, I've been busy of course with work, and trying to get back into running. Finding an ideal time to run is a difficult thing for me. For those of your who don't know me well, I must state that running to me is torture. There is no way that I would in sound mind ever climb out of bed before work, and so I'm resolved to finding time after work. It sounds simple, but the key is finding the ideal time where the humidity and heat has dropped to a point where it doesn't feel like I'm running inside of a sauna, and yet giving myself enough daylight to complete my journey. I've committed to getting back into running, but I know that this will be never be a "fun" thing.

I've also tried surfing this past week. When I travelled to Australia years ago I made my first attempt at it, but basically sucked. This time, I gave myself plenty of weeks to warm up to the idea of subjecting myself to such humiliation once again. There is a beach about 10 minute drive away from our house that provides the opportunity to try it without having to be worried about getting smashed into rocks. Let's say that I'm still at the beginning stages. I've tried two different days, and can happily say that I've caught a wave and gotten on my feet, but it is not looking pretty. I've also taken a few good beatings, and been tossed around quite seriously by some ferocious waves.

Anyways, I am surviving, healthy and enjoying my sports. I won't write any updates on work, as I'll save that for another day. Here's me signing off from Liberia.

Up Country Once Again

2006-05-31T14:46:00.000-07:00

Last night was a beautiful evening up country. We drove 7 hours yesterday to visit one of our project sites just 15 minutes from the Ivory Coast border. I was able to enjoy both the sunset and an evening under the stars, and it was wonderful. I was commenting to co-workers how much I miss being out in the village, and how we were missing something living in the capital. It was calming and peaceful in a whole different way than what we experience at our house in Monrovia.

Anyways, the drive up was rather uneventful. We stopped at the three hour mark to visit an orphanage, and then continued on to Ganta. In Ganta we had a quick coke, and I've posted a copy of the Swedish UN tanks that we saw rolling through town. We continued on for another two-three hours till we reached Gbelegla, where one of our two programs for ex-combatants is located. Staff and students greeted us, and had laid out a brief program to highlight their training center. Our Regional Director is in country this week, and everyone was quite excited to see him.

We continued on for another 25 minutes to reach our second training center, and were greeted by staff there. The DDRR (Demobilize, Disarm, Rehabiliation and Reintegration) program is sponsored by UNICEF and implemented by our organization. We're currently in the third stage of the program, which is being accomplished by engaging ex-combatants in trade school training so that they will have a skill to rely on in the future. At these schools, kids can sign up for either agriculture, masonry, pastry, carpentry, mechanics, or comsetics training. They also have school social workers and business training as part of their program.

We sat with these kids for a couple of hours this morning, and I would have to say that I found it hard to picture these kids out in the field shooting and killing their countrymen. I was informed later on in the day that one of the students, the "General", once had 250 children under his command. When I asked his age, they told me that he currently is 15, but it is evident that he was a very controlling guy. Even today at the school if they're having conflict on the compound, they'll call on the "General" to talk to the kids. The encouraging part of the story is that the "General" was recruited to go fight on the Ivory Coast side, as his skills are much desired there, but he refused so that he could take part in this program. You get a real sense that people in Liberia grew tired of fighting, and really do want another way of life.

While it was tiring trip, it was definitely worth it. Driving is always a tiring thing here, and it can be quite an experience. Today, we came across a truck that had been carrying lumber turned over on it's side. The UN was already on site, and had two massive trucks with winches on them to try to turn it upright. We asked the policeman if everything was okay, to which he replied there had been a fatality, but they had taken away the boy. As we drove by, I was peering to look at the truck and realized that the dead boy was lying there with a pair of shorts draped partially over his face. I'm happy to say that we made it back without any further incients, and arrived safely at our home in Monrovia by 5:30pm.

Nimba County Trip

2006-05-31T14:41:00.000-07:00

Ma and Kids

2006-05-27T02:51:00.000-07:00

My One Month Anniversary

2006-05-26T15:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I have surpassed my one month anniversary here in Liberia. I'm making it sound like something difficult by using those words, when in reality it has flown by quickly. I have mentioned this before, but it's truly amazing how the time has flown. I'm coming home each day mentioning to co-workers that already I can't get to all the things that need doing in a day.

We drove up to Gbarnga today, pronounced Bonga, to see an orphanage that we have partnered with for the past few years. I believe I mentioned this orphanage in a previous blog, but I don't think I have yet talked about the woman behind this place. Ma is the matron of the orphanage, and today like other days she greeted us with her trademark warm and friendly hug. I'll try to post a photo of her, but she is a large Liberian woman with silvering hair that is usually held under by a hair wrap. In the times that I have met her, she has been wearing a tank top, and a piece of fabric wrapped around her waist to be worn as a skirt. She has usually just come from the garden so her hugs are a notable and memorable experience. With her size, it's life sinking into a huge cushion and part of your body disappears within her grasp. Today, when I asked how she is doing, she quietly responded, "Thank God! We're alive!".

This response is one that I recieve often. I'm so conditioned to a response of, "doing fine", or "good", that this response given is one that still catches me off guard. After having lived through such difficult times, it's not a wonder that this has become a common response. Ma is just one example of someone who has miraculously survived this horrific time in Liberian history. While I don't know all of her stories, the ones that I have heard are amazing. She was given care of, or I believe even ordered to take care of kids during the war who were either seperated from their parents, or orphaned. The first time I met her, she shared with me a story of how she made a journey from Gbarnga to Monrovia with over 200 children. As I sat beside her on the bench, she demonstrated using my skirt and hers how she kept the kids together by taking pieces of their clothing and tying them one to the next, so that they walked as if in a huge chain gang. By car, this trip is a good three hours so you can imagine how long it took 200 children walking through dense, tropical forest to make it to safety in Monrovia!

She has told other stories, and one of the more phenomenal ones is of how at one time a number of children were captured by a soldeir. Ma watched from the side as this gentleman poured fuel all over the kids. They were bound together, and she watched with horror as the man searched for his matches. The remarkable thing is that she could see the outline of the matchbox in his shirt pocket, but he kept patting over the spot and was never able to find them. After minutes of frustration, and unable to find the matches, he simply walked away from the children and she was able to rescue them.

Spending time in the midst of individuals like Ma, or others that I will write about in the future is a humbling experience for me. I think over the things that I consider to be struggles, or the frustrations that I have had and complained about, and I'm humbled. It puts a lot of things in perspective for me, and it reminds me once again of one of the many reasons that I'm glad to be here.

Staff Soccer Day

2006-05-20T14:09:00.000-07:00

Bomi Lake

2006-05-20T14:04:00.000-07:00

My Third Week in Liberia

2006-05-19T16:26:00.000-07:00

As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, I’m slowly starting to adjust to life in Liberia. I’m finding it hard to believe that I have now been in the country for over three weeks, and it seems unbelievable to me that time has flown by that quickly. That being said, there are still a number of firsts that I have experienced in this past week.

The first of those was last Sunday when we traveled about 1.5 hours NE of Monrovia to go hang out at Bomi Lake. For the distance you have to travel this is a great option to get away from the city and enjoy a touch of nature. The only really annoying sound to put up with is the generator sounds being created by the UNMIL group at the end of the lake. It can hardly be called a lake, as it’s more a reservoir created from an old iron/ore mining area, but a natural spring feeds it, so it’s a nice place to swim.

Anyways the first that I experienced was my first bout of illness here in Liberia. Within two hours of returning from the Lake, I was curled up on my bed feeling nauseous and achy. It progressed, and while I tried to push myself the next day to go to a meeting at noon, I knew I was in trouble as I was dry heaving in the restaurant where the meeting was being held. After two days of not eating and all the other flu like symptoms I experienced, I started to feel better. I’ve deduced that it was in fact either a touch of the flu or food poisoning. But, regardless, I’m feeling great now.
The other first is actually driving here in the city. It’s a bit of an experience, and in like most developing countries, it’s a matter of figuring out what the pattern of driving is and then adjusting. The city limit roads have two lanes on each side of the road and believe it or not, they actually have painted lines of the road. Now, please don’t misunderstand me…people don’t actually use them, but they are there. There is usually a lot of veering in and out of lanes, and honking as you go by just to notify the driver that you are coming up beside them. The taxis prefer to cut you off as they veer to the right hand lane, and then abruptly stop, partly on the road and partly on the shoulder to pick up passengers. The other one is that people suddenly stop to let pedestrians cross, but it could be at any random point on the road. I guess it just keeps you on your toes at all times!

Well, Kendell is back on Sunday, along with a new staff person and a 15 person short term mission team. Perhaps, despite there being not much going on here, our life will be kept interesting with the sheer number of visitors that come through the office. I have a workshop at the office tomorrow morning at 10 and plus the generator is being turned off here in 20 minutes, so I’m going to call it a night.

Till next time…

Tumukullie Village

2006-05-14T11:52:00.000-07:00

A View from my Room

2006-05-14T11:33:00.000-07:00

This Week in Review

2006-05-12T14:52:00.000-07:00

Well, this past week has been an interesting one. I feel like in my second week here that I'm finally starting to hit a bit of a stride. It's exciting for me when I'm in an environment where I'm constantly learning and being challenged. Admitingly, there are plenty of times and situations where there are lots of unknowns. There have been a few meetings this week where I have walked out and asked co-workers, "so what was that lady talking about?". Thank goodness for great co-workers who have kept me afloat.

This past week we also had a guest from the UK who is going to bring a team of 15 coaches over in November to run soccer camps for underpriviledged children. He is a riot and kept us all in stitches throughout the week. Although it's months away, I'm already looking forward to the team coming, and know that it will be a highlight of the year. Soccer, like so many countries around the world, is huge in Liberia, and it will be a great medium to getting to talk to youth about important issues.

One of the highlights of this week was getting to visit one of the women rehabilitation homes. Originally, there was one home that was started by one of our Liberian staff a few years ago, and thankfully there has been the addition of another home. These homes take in women excombatants, ex-sex slaves, or women who were taken as wives or girlfriends of soldiers in the war. In this home that I visited there are 17 girls, some as young as age 14, and 13 babies. The women attend school, learn a vocation, and obviously work through some of the phsychological affects of what has happened to them. It's amazing to see the work that is being done in their lives.

We've had a change in weather this week, and the rainy season will soon be here. Two nights ago, I lived through the LOUDEST thunderstorm of my life. The lightning was like a strobe light going off in my window, and the strikes kept me awake till wee hours of the morning. As the electricity sparked out of one of the outlets in my bedroomI knew the storm was getting serious. The rainy season, as I mentioned before, will pose interesting moments and great struggles for our staff in the upcoming months.

Today, we found out at 3 pm, while in a meeting with other aid agencies, that Monday is a national holiday. It was a funny monent, because it was the first time we had heard about it. We went back to talk to our national staff, and even they were unaware of the day being a holiday. So, this has turned out to be a long weekend for me, which is very exciting. I may go to visit Bomi Lake on Sunday with our some of our staff. Unfortunately, I will have to work Monday, but thankfully only part of the day.

Well, to all you mothers out there...mine in particular...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY on Sunday!!!!

A Devastating Past

2006-05-06T03:44:00.000-07:00

For all of you reading this new posting, thanks for switching over. I was finding Xanga not to be what I had hoped and so I decided to switch. Part of the problem was that I was paying for their premium package, but I wasn't able to upload photos. Our connection here is not good enough that I can get them uploaded. So, I've decided to post on a new blogsite. Hopefully you've all found me and will continue to read about my adventures.

Anyways, new topic...the conflict in Liberia is obviously what has brought most of us here to work. For 14 years, 1989-2003, Liberia was in the middle of a war that resulted in 1/3 of their population either displaced, or killed. Many Liberians were forced into Internally Displaced Persons camps (IDP), many found refuge in Ghana, Cote d'Ivoire or Sierra Leone, and many others faced death. The UN spent over a year disarming combatants, and in the end statistics state that over 100, 000 were disarmed. For a country of only 3 million these are dramatic statics.

Many of you probably wonder what the feel is in Liberia at this time. I know that before I left many of you were concerned about the security situation here. For those staff who have been here for over a year they say the changes are dramatic. They have mentioned to me that they can already see an improvement in the road and building conditions, and that there is generally a more "safe" feeling. I believe, that Liberia has the largest UN presence in the world, and there are still many roadblocks set up around the country. However; I would say that I feel safe in the country. There is petty crime, and you do need to be aware of your surroundings, but I don't walk around feeling unsafe.

While I'm arriving a couple of years after the end of the conflict, it is amazing to still see signs of the fighting that took place. The other day, as I crossed one of the two bridges in Monrovia, I was really surprised to observe the lamposts that line the bridge filled with bullet holes. This area of the city was the stage for the last bit of fighting, and where they eventually captured Charles Taylor. The buildings around the area have patch work and you can see where they have covered bullet holes and mortar holes.

Overall, the new government is really trying to rebuild and rehabilitate within the county. A lot of our project activity will be assisting people as they return home, and as they try to re-establish their lives. It's an exciting time to be here, and also a huge challenge. The staff here are doing an amazing job and from what I've observed the rural communities are motivated to rebuild their lives. As I continue to discover new things and see the progress that's being made, I'll be sure to keep you updated.